Have you ever made a cup of tea for your mum when she’s taking a short break from the endless chores she does in a day? Yes? Saw that big smile on her face? Have you ever given a lollipop to the little-famished boy who’s always standing at the traffic signal near your house? Saw the twinkle in his eyes?

Each one of us makes someone or the other happy in our own small way. Here’s an interesting little story that made me, and will surely make you, want to do it more often.

Ubuntu (oo-boon-too) is a Zulu word and an African concept that helps you appreciate the essence of being human. It urges you to go that extra mile for the sake of someone else, care for others and acknowledge the humanity in others.

Ubuntu means ‘I am because we are’. This signifies that you are a human being because others acknowledge you as one and vice-versa. In a way, it tells us that all of us complete each other.

Many years ago, an anthropologist went to Africa to learn more about this. He went to study a tribe called ‘Ubuntu’. While he stayed there, he learnt a whole lot of things about their culture, their habits and customs. He envied the way they thought for each other, always moved around together and valued each other.

It was his last day with them and once he finished his work, he waited for a cab to pick him up and drop him at the airport. He wanted to spend his last few hours there with the lovely children of the tribe. He thought of an idea - to bring them together by playing a game. The reward for winning was a beautifully decorated hamper full of candies and chocolates.

He drew a line on the ground and got the kids to stand behind it. The hamper was placed under a tree a few hundred meters away. He instructed them to run as fast as they could at his call, to get the hamper.

The super excited bunch of kids was ready. He said “go” and something really surprising happened.

Instead of running along in their own paths, the children held each other’s hands to run towards the tree, together.

The children ran as fast as they could and got the hamper. The candies were too hard to resist so they quickly opened it and happily shared it. Thoroughly confused, he asked them why they didn’t run on their own, knowing that the winner could have got all the goodies to herself/himself?

A small girl who was still having the last bite of her candy said, “How can anyone of us be happy when the others are sad?”

He was left dumbfounded. This little girl told him something that never crossed his mind even at that age. He spent months together studying this tribe but had really learnt his biggest lesson that day. They value being human more than anything else. They think of others before they think of themselves and because this is inculcated in them since childhood, it comes effortlessly to them.

A powerful lesson for all of us indeed. How many of us put others before ourselves? Is this really possible while each of us is a part of the rat race that the world is a part of right now? Is it so difficult for us to think about others?

When a child is growing up, as parents, we teach her/him to focus only on her/his game and strive towards being a winner. Are we running to win or only to defeat others?

There is a thin line of difference between the two. Winning is good but winning together is great!

We are all struggling to make a mark only for ourselves. But think about it, the essence of ubuntu is not only true to our personal lives, but also at work. Organisations pay millions of dollars to foster teamwork and conduct collaborative exercises for their employees to break silos, acknowledge each other and work together.  They spend so much time on building trust and creating cohesive teams. This surely is a big factor for winning as a team.

Another classic example of ubuntu is what Jeff Weiner, the CEO of LinkedIn did when the share price of the company tanked by almost 40% in 2016. LinkedIn is known for rewarding employees with stock options that has resulted in many of them making some good money over the years. With such a drop in the price and a big cut in compensation, employee morale was bound to get affected.  

That’s when Weiner gave up his own stock grant of $14 million and asked for it to be allocated to the employee stock pool instead. This is not only about great leadership, but also an inspiration on how to put others before your own self. Jeff Weiner was successful in boosting employee morale even during a crisis.

It wasn’t necessary for him to do so. He could have taken his share, lost out on some employees, hired some more once conditions stabilised and moved on. He didn’t ask himself whether he could make a difference. He asked himself, “What difference will I make?”

So, here’s an idea. Try to make a small difference in someone’s life every day, starting today.  Start by thinking of others at par with yourself (if not before yourself) while doing anything. Remember you are, because they are. See the difference it will make to others and to you. It will make you a happier person.

As a leader at work, think about your team before you think of yourself. Recognise and appreciate others efforts. You’ll be surprised to see what the team is then willing to do for the organisation in return.

At home, a little gesture is enough to make your loved ones happy. Spend quality time together. Surprise them. See how their happiness increases two-fold and becomes yours when you know you’re the reason behind it!

Make a difference. Become the reason for someone’s happiness. Spread smiles. Live life – the Ubuntu way!

Listening to someone can save a life!

After cutting her arm with a broken glass, she fell into a fitful and exhausted sleep on the railway station platform in London. Early the next morning, she got up painfully to her feet to make her way to the station toilets. She looked at herself in the mirror and cried. She could barely recognise herself. Her face was dirty and stained, and her clothes were torn and stained with blood. She started to wash herself.

The wounds needed to be stitched. They would start bleeding as soon as she touched them. But she knew she couldn’t go to the hospital because they would send her back home. The place she hated the most. Her mother had estranged her a year ago and she was being physically abused by her father and his friends every single day. Every night she would sleep, wishing that she wouldn’t wake up the next morning. She was devastated.

There was only one thing she could think of doing at that time. She painfully walked over to the PCO booth outside the station.

“Samaritans, can I help you?” “Hello? Can I help you,” said the lady who answered her call.

The girl cried, “I don’t know.”

“My name is Pam, what can I call you? Where are you speaking from?"

The girl continued to cry but answered Pam’s questions. She said, “Calling from a phone box in London. I want to die. If my father doesn’t kill me, I want to do it myself.”

Pam asked the girl her age and got to know that she’s only 14 years old. She gently asked her some more questions about herself.

The girl’s name was Sophie Andrews and she had called Samaritans - a 24/7 UK based confidential helpline for anyone who might be feeling depressed, or suicidal.

Sophie called Samaritans regularly during those years not because she needed advice, but because it was just so comforting to have someone listening to her at the other end. She caught up on her studies, managed to persuade someone to give her a job and she survived the abuse rather than becoming a victim.

When Sophie turned 21, she called the helpline again. But this time, it was to ask them if she could volunteer to be a Samaritan too. Over the years, that vulnerable caller eventually went on to become the national leader of the organisation who was responsible for 22,000 other volunteers!

Today, she gives complete credit of this transformation to someone who was always there to listen to her when she was desperate and suicidal. A volunteer giving up time and listening to her without any judgement and keeping it confidential had a huge, life-changing impact on her.

In a way to pay back, in 2013 she set up a national helpline in the UK for lonely and isolated older people. ‘The Silver Line’ has taken more than 1.5 million calls till date! Some people call because they are lonely and looking for a friendly chat, others call to report abuse or simply because they have given up on life. They have Silver Circles, which are group/conference calls for people to share their interests with each other. People connect through these circles and play musical instruments they are passionate about, for others to listen. The Silver Line gets some phenomenal response and feedback from their callers.

Older people who have no one to talk to, call up and just speak their hearts out. They now consider volunteers as part of their own family.  

Quite often callers start by saying, “Could you please give me some advice on….?” And 25 minutes later, by the end of the call, they say, “Thank you so much for your advice!” and volunteers realise they haven’t given any! It’s amazing how a listener can listen without interruption and lead the caller to find a solution all by himself.

In a recent survey conducted by The Silver Line, some callers were asked about what this service meant to them. An old man came back and said, for the first time in life, he felt that he had what we could call a ‘wicketkeeper’ in cricket and a ‘catcher’ in baseball.

Everyone needs a catcher at some point or the other in their lives. Sophie considers herself lucky in life. Lucky to have a catcher alongside her at that time, who may be believed in her and in turn, helped her believe in herself just a little bit more.

It’s surprising how we can sometimes underestimate the power of a simple human connection. Genuinely listening to someone can help them overcome the toughest phase of their life.

How many of us actually listen to others?  We do. But, mostly to give our advice on what the other person is saying. We have our counter-questions ready before she/he even completes what she/he has to say.

Listening is the most important ingredient for building healthy relationships, great teams and emerging as a great leader.

In his iconic book, ‘How to win friends and influence people’, Dale Carnegie has shared some golden rules –

Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves, become genuinely interested in others, try to honestly see things from the other person’s point of view and be sympathetic to the other person’s ideas.  Perhaps, it would be a good idea to use at least some of these because everyone loves being listened to.

Think about it. We tend to fall for those who listen to us, vote for people who listen to us and also buy the products or services of those who listen to us! Powerful. Isn’t it?

If you want to help someone, the best way to do it is to empathetically listen to them. Don’t judge or jump to conclusions. You don’t know what she/he might be going through. Listen to lead the person to find a solution for himself. Sometimes, giving no advice is the best advice you might give.

Become someone’s catcher. Listen because you care. Remember. It has the power to save a life!

Everything is figure-out-able!

Here’s something I’d love to share with you!

Marie Forleo is a fabulous lady we can all learn a lot from. She’s an entrepreneur, writer and an optimist. Her husband, Josh is an actor.

She shared a story at an event which might help all of us in looking at our lives with a different perspective.

Marie and Josh were married for 7 years. They were both doing really well professionally but things weren’t all that great on the personal front. They decided to do something about it and looked out for couple counselling. The main issue was that she was always working! She loved her work so much but at the same time she felt bad that this was the reason she might lose the man she loved.

Marie realised that they never went on a vacation together. They did travel but it was only work related. She decided to do something about this and booked a 4 day trip to Barcelona to celebrate Josh’s birthday. He had been wanting to visit this place for the past 7 years!

Tickets. Check. Bookings. Check. Packing. Check. They were all set to leave. She had coaching calls scheduled till the very last minute they needed to leave for the airport.

They left on time and would have made it just in time only, if only, they hadn’t hit a major traffic jam!  They entered the JFK airport and went straight to the check in counter.

The lady at that counter looked at them. She looked at the computer screen. And she looked at them again only to say, “I’m Sorry. You’ve missed the deadline to check in your bags.” Marie and Josh tried to convince her. After all, it was 4:55 and the flight was to take off at 5:45.

After a brief argument, she finally said, “I’m really sorry.  But you’re not going to make it.”

Her heart sank. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Because those words – you’re not going to make it meant a lot more than that to Josh and her. She looked over and at the disappointment on Josh’s face – not about the trip, but really about them.

In that moment, she remembered a lesson that a tiny, but mighty woman taught her years ago. This woman was only about 5 feet tall, full of energy and was almost always at some work. Her name was Miriam. She was Marie’s mother.

Miriam always looked out for discount coupons and freebies. She purchased stuff that offered value for money. She had a little radio. It looked just like an orange with a straw sticking out (the antenna). And of course, it was for free! She had got with a pack of Tropicana orange juice.

Whenever Marie got back home from school, she would listen to the music and figure out where her mom was in the house. One day she followed the sound which seemed to be at a height and was surprised to find her mom on top of the roof. Marie asked her, “Maa! Are you okay? What are you doing up there?” Miriam replied saying the labourers were asking for 500 bucks to repair the leakage in the roof. She had the material and decided to repair it herself.

The next day, Marie got home and tried figure out where the Tropicana radio was playing from.

The bathroom! Miriam was retiling the bathroom. She said she had all the equipment needed and didn’t need someone else to come and fix the tiles for her. This is all from the 80’s. There was no google, no youtube to give you a demonstration and answer your ‘how to’ questions!

There was a day when she got back but couldn’t hear the sound of the radio. She found her mom in the kitchen with that radio dismantled into 20 parts! And as usual, her mom preferred to repair it herself 😊

Marie asked her mom, “Maa, how do you know how to do everything yourself? No one’s taught you how to do this.” Miriam looked at her daughter and said , “There’s nothing we cannot do. Always remember. Everything is figure - out- able.”

Everything is figure – out – able! Yes, indeed. Everything is figure - out – able!

At that very moment, Marie realised that she has to figure her way out. She ran down the staircase to a store for bags. She picked up a huge duffle bag. The plan was to dump all their luggage and carry it all with them instead of checking it in!

They frantically began to start dumping everything they could in that bag. The cops at the airport came to see where all that noise came from! Josh managed to convince them to take care of their empty suitcases and both of them ran towards the security check. It was 5:20 pm.

They had to be in the aircraft (which had been rescheduled to depart from another terminal!) in the next 20 minutes.  The guy at the security check figured out who Josh was. And called out to his colleagues and friends to come and take a selfie with the actor! Clearly, not a good time for him to be recognised.

They started running towards the gate, which was obviously, the farthest one in the line! She took the duffle bag from him and asked him to run first to stop the aircraft. She ran as fast as she could with that bag. It was 5:40 pm. She saw him waving at her. She couldn’t understand if he was asking her to keep running or not bother to run at all. She decided to keep going and finally she was there!

The airhostess welcomed them and said – Hi! Welcome aboard! You made it! 😊

They made it. Marie and Josh looked at each other and they knew this was worth it. 

They recently celebrated their 13^th anniversary and have made it a point to go on a vacation every year.

Isn’t this a classic example of winning when you know you can do it? If you believe you can figure a way out, give it a shot! Believe in yourself. Take the first step. Follow the road and you will find solutions on the way that lead you to your destination.

Remember. Everything is figure- out-able!

If you believe you can, you can. If you believe you can’t, you are right!

– Henry Ford

Leaders Are Learners

Imagine. You are 60 years old, a billionaire and have founded a big business empire. 

AWESOME! Isn’t it?

Someone who works with you asks you a question. And, you don’t know the answer.

How comfortable would you be in saying ‘I don’t know’? Might not go too well with the ‘image’!

Here’s the story of a billionaire in the US. His name was Sam Walton, the founder of Walmart.

Sam was 60 when he went on a trip to Sao Paulo, Brazil.

His host family got a call from the police department saying, “Come bail out Sam Walton. He’s in jail.” They rushed to help.

"We didn't know who he was, and we found him crawling around the floors of stores", said the police.

The worried family asked Sam what he was doing! “I was just measuring how wide the aisles were with a tape measurer. I was trying to figure out if these Brazilians knew something that I didn't know."

A successful billionaire definitely didn’t need to crawl around the floors!

There is something in great leaders that sets them apart from the rest – they are lifelong learners. They look out for new learnings all the time, anywhere and everywhere. They are not afraid to say ‘I don’t know’ or ‘Let me learn this!’

What we can learn from Walton is - that there’s always a lot left to learn at work and in life!

At times, a lot of us feel we have mastered our areas of work. Or, shy away from telling others we don’t know something.  Maybe it’s a good idea for all of us to find what is our equivalent of ‘crawling on the floors’. Look out for someone who knows more than us and learn from them.

Try to find one good thing in each of those around you. They maybe your family, friends, colleagues or absolutely anyone!

Learn that one thing from them.  Become a lifelong learner!

“Leaders are learners.” – John C. Maxwell

How would you want to be remembered?

I came across a powerful story in the book – ‘How YOU are like Shampoo’ by Brenda Bence. It is a story about someone I’m sure we have all heard of. Alfred Nobel.

He was a successful and wealthy Swedish industrialist in the late 1800s. Alfred Nobel had single -handedly invented dynamite and the detonator – the apparatus that causes dynamite to ignite. He made millions with these inventions and lived a perfect life that we dream of!

He had a brother – Ludwig Nobel who was also a very well-known, successful businessman. Ludwig passed away in 1888. The obituary that showed up in the morning paper the next day, however, was switched and was Alfred’s! So, he had the rare opportunity of reading his own life story. But there was something that had a strong impact on him when he read it.

The obituary was labelled – Alfred “The Merchant of Death” because of his work with dynamite and detonators. He realized instantly, that his personal brandwould forever be associated with death. That was not what he wanted. He decided to take control and do something about it.

He made a plan and developed the Nobel Prizes for three things he really cared about- peace, literature and science. Alfred Nobel also left his millions to the establishment of these prizes when he died in 1895.

And look what “Nobel” stands for today! The Nobel Prize is the highest possible award in peace, literature and science. We have all heard of it. Many of us probably didn’t know about the other work he had done in his life.

That’s because he was successful in changing his personal brand so that his name would stand for what he wanted it to stand for.

This is a perfect example of what a personal brand is and how essential it is to communicate it. 
Maybe we should ask ourselves, what would the headline of our life story be?  

Alfred Nobel

Are we communicating what we would want to be remembered for?




“Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending.” – Carl Bard

How to Craft an Extraordinary Personal Brand - the Michelangelo Way!

Needless to say, Michelangelo was one of the greatest artists of the Italian Renaissance period. His sculptures and paintings never fail to leave a person awestruck even today. The statues of “David”, “Pieta” and the ceiling paintings of Rome’s Sistine Chapel, including the “Last Judgement” are all his creations. He was also a talented architect and poet.

Michelangelo was asked how he created the masterpieces that he did. And his answer was simple. He saw his works of art embedded in the stone. He only went about chipping off the parts that were not required. That’s how his creations came into existence.

Isn’t that a brilliant way of finding the extraordinary in the ordinary? I think we could use this approach to craft our personal brand too!

The difference between extra ordinary and ordinary is just that little ‘extra’! We only need to take that small extra efforton a daily basis in chipping away what is not a ‘work of art’ in us. Get rid of all that is not in sync with your desired personal brand. Everything that you don’t want to be known for.

Make a few small chips from your personal and professional life starting today. Craft the brand you desire to be. Take small steps. Be consistent.

And ‘extra’ ordinary won’t seem to be a daunting task. Become that masterpiece!