Have you ever made a cup of tea for your mum when she’s taking a short break from the endless chores she does in a day? Yes? Saw that big smile on her face? Have you ever given a lollipop to the little-famished boy who’s always standing at the traffic signal near your house? Saw the twinkle in his eyes?

Each one of us makes someone or the other happy in our own small way. Here’s an interesting little story that made me, and will surely make you, want to do it more often.

Ubuntu (oo-boon-too) is a Zulu word and an African concept that helps you appreciate the essence of being human. It urges you to go that extra mile for the sake of someone else, care for others and acknowledge the humanity in others.

Ubuntu means ‘I am because we are’. This signifies that you are a human being because others acknowledge you as one and vice-versa. In a way, it tells us that all of us complete each other.

Many years ago, an anthropologist went to Africa to learn more about this. He went to study a tribe called ‘Ubuntu’. While he stayed there, he learnt a whole lot of things about their culture, their habits and customs. He envied the way they thought for each other, always moved around together and valued each other.

It was his last day with them and once he finished his work, he waited for a cab to pick him up and drop him at the airport. He wanted to spend his last few hours there with the lovely children of the tribe. He thought of an idea - to bring them together by playing a game. The reward for winning was a beautifully decorated hamper full of candies and chocolates.

He drew a line on the ground and got the kids to stand behind it. The hamper was placed under a tree a few hundred meters away. He instructed them to run as fast as they could at his call, to get the hamper.

The super excited bunch of kids was ready. He said “go” and something really surprising happened.

Instead of running along in their own paths, the children held each other’s hands to run towards the tree, together.

The children ran as fast as they could and got the hamper. The candies were too hard to resist so they quickly opened it and happily shared it. Thoroughly confused, he asked them why they didn’t run on their own, knowing that the winner could have got all the goodies to herself/himself?

A small girl who was still having the last bite of her candy said, “How can anyone of us be happy when the others are sad?”

He was left dumbfounded. This little girl told him something that never crossed his mind even at that age. He spent months together studying this tribe but had really learnt his biggest lesson that day. They value being human more than anything else. They think of others before they think of themselves and because this is inculcated in them since childhood, it comes effortlessly to them.

A powerful lesson for all of us indeed. How many of us put others before ourselves? Is this really possible while each of us is a part of the rat race that the world is a part of right now? Is it so difficult for us to think about others?

When a child is growing up, as parents, we teach her/him to focus only on her/his game and strive towards being a winner. Are we running to win or only to defeat others?

There is a thin line of difference between the two. Winning is good but winning together is great!

We are all struggling to make a mark only for ourselves. But think about it, the essence of ubuntu is not only true to our personal lives, but also at work. Organisations pay millions of dollars to foster teamwork and conduct collaborative exercises for their employees to break silos, acknowledge each other and work together.  They spend so much time on building trust and creating cohesive teams. This surely is a big factor for winning as a team.

Another classic example of ubuntu is what Jeff Weiner, the CEO of LinkedIn did when the share price of the company tanked by almost 40% in 2016. LinkedIn is known for rewarding employees with stock options that has resulted in many of them making some good money over the years. With such a drop in the price and a big cut in compensation, employee morale was bound to get affected.  

That’s when Weiner gave up his own stock grant of $14 million and asked for it to be allocated to the employee stock pool instead. This is not only about great leadership, but also an inspiration on how to put others before your own self. Jeff Weiner was successful in boosting employee morale even during a crisis.

It wasn’t necessary for him to do so. He could have taken his share, lost out on some employees, hired some more once conditions stabilised and moved on. He didn’t ask himself whether he could make a difference. He asked himself, “What difference will I make?”

So, here’s an idea. Try to make a small difference in someone’s life every day, starting today.  Start by thinking of others at par with yourself (if not before yourself) while doing anything. Remember you are, because they are. See the difference it will make to others and to you. It will make you a happier person.

As a leader at work, think about your team before you think of yourself. Recognise and appreciate others efforts. You’ll be surprised to see what the team is then willing to do for the organisation in return.

At home, a little gesture is enough to make your loved ones happy. Spend quality time together. Surprise them. See how their happiness increases two-fold and becomes yours when you know you’re the reason behind it!

Make a difference. Become the reason for someone’s happiness. Spread smiles. Live life – the Ubuntu way!

Everything is figure-out-able!

Here’s something I’d love to share with you!

Marie Forleo is a fabulous lady we can all learn a lot from. She’s an entrepreneur, writer and an optimist. Her husband, Josh is an actor.

She shared a story at an event which might help all of us in looking at our lives with a different perspective.

Marie and Josh were married for 7 years. They were both doing really well professionally but things weren’t all that great on the personal front. They decided to do something about it and looked out for couple counselling. The main issue was that she was always working! She loved her work so much but at the same time she felt bad that this was the reason she might lose the man she loved.

Marie realised that they never went on a vacation together. They did travel but it was only work related. She decided to do something about this and booked a 4 day trip to Barcelona to celebrate Josh’s birthday. He had been wanting to visit this place for the past 7 years!

Tickets. Check. Bookings. Check. Packing. Check. They were all set to leave. She had coaching calls scheduled till the very last minute they needed to leave for the airport.

They left on time and would have made it just in time only, if only, they hadn’t hit a major traffic jam!  They entered the JFK airport and went straight to the check in counter.

The lady at that counter looked at them. She looked at the computer screen. And she looked at them again only to say, “I’m Sorry. You’ve missed the deadline to check in your bags.” Marie and Josh tried to convince her. After all, it was 4:55 and the flight was to take off at 5:45.

After a brief argument, she finally said, “I’m really sorry.  But you’re not going to make it.”

Her heart sank. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Because those words – you’re not going to make it meant a lot more than that to Josh and her. She looked over and at the disappointment on Josh’s face – not about the trip, but really about them.

In that moment, she remembered a lesson that a tiny, but mighty woman taught her years ago. This woman was only about 5 feet tall, full of energy and was almost always at some work. Her name was Miriam. She was Marie’s mother.

Miriam always looked out for discount coupons and freebies. She purchased stuff that offered value for money. She had a little radio. It looked just like an orange with a straw sticking out (the antenna). And of course, it was for free! She had got with a pack of Tropicana orange juice.

Whenever Marie got back home from school, she would listen to the music and figure out where her mom was in the house. One day she followed the sound which seemed to be at a height and was surprised to find her mom on top of the roof. Marie asked her, “Maa! Are you okay? What are you doing up there?” Miriam replied saying the labourers were asking for 500 bucks to repair the leakage in the roof. She had the material and decided to repair it herself.

The next day, Marie got home and tried figure out where the Tropicana radio was playing from.

The bathroom! Miriam was retiling the bathroom. She said she had all the equipment needed and didn’t need someone else to come and fix the tiles for her. This is all from the 80’s. There was no google, no youtube to give you a demonstration and answer your ‘how to’ questions!

There was a day when she got back but couldn’t hear the sound of the radio. She found her mom in the kitchen with that radio dismantled into 20 parts! And as usual, her mom preferred to repair it herself 😊

Marie asked her mom, “Maa, how do you know how to do everything yourself? No one’s taught you how to do this.” Miriam looked at her daughter and said , “There’s nothing we cannot do. Always remember. Everything is figure - out- able.”

Everything is figure – out – able! Yes, indeed. Everything is figure - out – able!

At that very moment, Marie realised that she has to figure her way out. She ran down the staircase to a store for bags. She picked up a huge duffle bag. The plan was to dump all their luggage and carry it all with them instead of checking it in!

They frantically began to start dumping everything they could in that bag. The cops at the airport came to see where all that noise came from! Josh managed to convince them to take care of their empty suitcases and both of them ran towards the security check. It was 5:20 pm.

They had to be in the aircraft (which had been rescheduled to depart from another terminal!) in the next 20 minutes.  The guy at the security check figured out who Josh was. And called out to his colleagues and friends to come and take a selfie with the actor! Clearly, not a good time for him to be recognised.

They started running towards the gate, which was obviously, the farthest one in the line! She took the duffle bag from him and asked him to run first to stop the aircraft. She ran as fast as she could with that bag. It was 5:40 pm. She saw him waving at her. She couldn’t understand if he was asking her to keep running or not bother to run at all. She decided to keep going and finally she was there!

The airhostess welcomed them and said – Hi! Welcome aboard! You made it! 😊

They made it. Marie and Josh looked at each other and they knew this was worth it. 

They recently celebrated their 13^th anniversary and have made it a point to go on a vacation every year.

Isn’t this a classic example of winning when you know you can do it? If you believe you can figure a way out, give it a shot! Believe in yourself. Take the first step. Follow the road and you will find solutions on the way that lead you to your destination.

Remember. Everything is figure- out-able!

If you believe you can, you can. If you believe you can’t, you are right!

– Henry Ford